I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize