Acid is not a monday night drug
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
