Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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