Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
