I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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