So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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