Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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