You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
