she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize