I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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