And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He kissed a someone with a penis
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
