His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
