did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
