After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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