If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
