cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
