I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
