I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
