After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
