It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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