so explain again why im purple
no
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
