No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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