did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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