Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
