Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
