I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
