we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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