STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
