Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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