Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize