how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
