He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
