69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
