sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
