I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
