some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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