i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he thought i was a dude.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
