I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
