she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
