The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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