thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
