Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
