I'm gonna have a badass scar
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
