can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
