I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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