we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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