I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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