Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
handjob tips. give me some.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
