So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
