cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
