she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
