How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
