the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
