just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
