Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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