I need help removing her.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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