Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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