He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
