i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
