There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
