Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize