Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
