I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
