and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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