I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
