The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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