Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
