yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
