Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
