fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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